Attitude Is Everything In Marriage

An attendee at one of our seminars wrote for Question/Answer time: My wife seems angry or unhappy so much of the time that it’s rubbing off on our kids – even the one who used to be all sunshine. Nothing they or I do pleases her. Frankly, I don’t know if I can stand much more of this. I’d like to save my marriage for the kids’ sake, but I’m wondering.

She’s always a cranky, touchy person becomes a habit, don’t you think? There are both men and women who make it a habit of complaining about their spouses. Most people are what they have been becoming since childhood. Spouses don’t see themselves that way; they excuse their behavior by saying that they are just being realistic, so they see no need to change. It is miserable to live with, we agree. However, Mr. or Mrs. Negative can change. We’ve spoken of this is our save-your-marriage material at our Love Relationship Headquarters. We talk about cranky, critical, ornery people, because we run across them in our counseling.

If you’ve got a Mrs. Cranky wife, we taught our client and students (not wanting to point out the man because his wife was there with him), teach your children the better way by being cheerful and positive regarding everything. Refuse to join the Forces of Negatives. Find a positive to bring up for every negative.

One way is: you can play a game with your children where they are to think of a positive for a negative that you throw at them. “Okay, Kids, it’s pouring down rain and you can’t play outside. Think of 3 reasons why you should be happy about that.” [Suggested answers: Rain helps food grow so we can eat; Rain is God's provision for keeping the earth green and beautiful; You (or we) can pop corn and play a table game inside.]

Rain is just one idea. There are literally thousands of ways you help your children to think in positive ways. Try it for a few months, and if your wife doesn’t catch the spirit by then, tell her that you are concerned about her health. When she asks you why, you can say, “You’re so pretty when you smile. And you seldom smile anymore. The kids are noticing it, too. I want you to be happy. I’ve been reading about that. Maybe you aren’t getting proper rest. Or you may be suffering from low blood sugar or hormones that are out of synch. Whatever it is, I’ll do everything I can to help. It wouldn’t hurt for both of us to have a thorough checkup.”

Be prepared! She may meet your efforts indignantly with a barrage of things you should be doing yourself, or the kids should be doing, so she CAN smile more. If so, do them and take charge of the kids’ behavior! Otherwise, cart her off to a medical doctor who can look for hidden causes behind the sourpuss attitude.

One thing she definitely needs is to study our material and books written just for women at Love Relationship Headquarters. We have a bunch there for you, too, Sir…material that will guide you into being a much better husband and father. Get her – and you – started on them now and you won’t have to write us for help in the future. We want you to keep your marriage strong. Save your marriage is our motto.

Margaret Hardisty International Best Selling Author and Speaker Dr. Vance Hardisty International Speaker and Author Love Relationship Headquarters www.loverelationshipheadquarters.com

Do you have relationship problems? You are not alone. Millions have marriage problems We’ll show you how to save your marriage , and get separate help for women Also published at Attitude Is Everything In Marriage.

We All Need Magic Moments

Mark became furious when his wife, Mindy, had an affair. “He’s a jerk!” Mark fumed. That “jerk” was doing the things for her that Mark used to do before they were married. Mr. Jerk made Mindy feel beautiful, desirable and loved. Mark loved his wife deeply, but didn’t show it except when he wanted sex. Even then it was nothing much but raw passion. He wasn’t able to save his marriage.

Mindy then went on to marry the “jerk” and was doomed to repeat the same patterns of neglect she had been in with Mark. That doesn’t surprise us here at Love Relationship Headquarters. That’s why we have felt compelled to help people get on a different pathway in their lives.

A woman longs for personal, loving, tender attention from her guy – outside of the bedroom. Of course, she wants that inside the bedroom, too, but if she doesn’t get it “outside,” she doesn’t appreciate what she gets “inside.”

She longs for attention from her guy in other ways, too. Jerilou complained that her husband plopped down in front of the TV the minute he got home for work, insisted that they eat in front of it, and watched it afterward until bedtime. “I hate to say I’m jealous of the boob tube,” she said, “but I feel as if he doesn’t know I’m alive. I resent it.”

Women need to know they count. That they’re more important to their husbands than other things in the men’s world. It does not matter what it is – if something is placed before your women she will feel neglected..

All of the information you need can be found on www.loverelationshipheadquarters.com. Start clicking away and discover some of the most helpful books and materials you’ll ever have at your disposal. We can help you save your marriage. Even if it does not need saving – we can help you make it even better.

Dr. Vance Hardisty International Speaker and Author Margaret Hardisty International Best Selling Author and Speaker Love Relationship Headquarters www.loverelationshipheadquarters.com

Marriages in trouble can find help? 100’s of thousands have used our marriage advice. Marriage help is available , and get separate help for men This article, We All Need Magic Moments has free reprint rights.

Wealth And Marriage – Do They Mix?

If you want to get a buzz, read about Donald Trump, one of the most fascinating men in history who seems to have a penchant for not caring if he saves a marriage or not. Well, at least, not marriage to a woman. He does care about saving his marriages to the loves of his life – building, acquiring things, and accumulating riches. Brilliant in business, he has built a financial empire worth billions despite several bankruptcies.

This is the most successful businessman in the world today! It’s interesting to us, as marriage and relationship advisers to note that, whereas Trump has been immensely productive in buying and selling hotels, casinos, clubs and almost anything else you can name, he’s been a flop when it comes to producing a lasting marriage with a woman. He’s managed to sire a passel of kids, including at least one, at the time of this writing, with his latest wife who is 24 years younger than he; and he has more than a few grandchildren.

As we noted, his passion is business and making money – not making wives happy. He knows that his imbalanced passions are an issue: “I just know it’s very hard for them [his ex-wives] to compete because I do love what I do. I really love it.”

That reminds us a lot of another growing empire; the media empire of Larry King. King has outdone Trump in the wedding bells arena, though. He’s on his 8th marriage that’s about to crumble – according to latest reports. There is no evidence of his trying to save any of those marriages (although latest reports say he and his wife have decided to make a go of it). Trump, on the other hand, despite any other liaisons he’s had, is only on his 3rd legal hookup at the marital altar.

So, really, deep down; are these men happy? Well, think about it. Collectively, these two guys have had 9-10 divorces. I don’t think anyone would say that all those breakups were friendly. In fact, if we were bettors, we’d wager that none of them were. Was the money and the power worth all the pain the wives, and possibly the husbands suffered – the anger, hurt, and frustration that resulted because neither one of these men was willing to do what was necessary to save at least one marriage? We don’t think so. Have they hardened their hearts so much that they just don’t care? Even if their wives were the ones who dumped their husbands, the way the men have conducted their lives has begged for trouble.

People like Trump and King may look happy on the outside (even though when you look at Larry Kings face during one of his shows, he doesn’t seem happy there either). But if The Donald was truly happy deep down inside, and were at peace with himself and God, why wouldn’t half a dozen successful hotels or casinos be enough? That would leave him time to concentrate on enjoying a loving, close marriage that he would do anything to preserve, and he’d still have some energy left over for a couple more hotels or resorts.

Why would King, who is at the top of his game as a TV talk show host, and given his abominable record as a husband, fool around with his wife’s sister instead of making his present marriage work? Why wouldn’t such men want to be a moral example for their children and grandchildren?

We submit that these guys are not at peace. They are replacing real lasting loving relationships with power and money.

We have no idea what’s in their hearts, but a question in the Bible seems to ring loud and clear: What does it profit a man if he gains the whole world and loses his own soul? And, we might ask, what does it profit a man (or woman) if he becomes rich and loses the one he promised to love the rest of his life? We’d say: very little.

Although you aren’t The Donald, or probably don’t have the power and reach of The King, have you found yourself married to something else other than your husband or wife? Does your job, sports, internet, hobby or friends mean more to you than the one to whom you pledged your life? Before you say no, ask yourself this: How many times in the last month have I chosen to spend time at work [or whatever it is in your life], rather than being with my spouse? If the answer is regularly, then you are on your way to weakening or destroying your marriage, rather than saving it; even if, on the surface, everything seems fine.

If you or the one you love has chosen something else over your marriage, there is still hope. Your marriage can be saved! At Love Relationship Headquarters, there are answers. Your marriage not only can be rescued, but it can be a joyful, love-filled ongoing affair, whether you have money or not, that doesn’t need to end. We show you how to mend, keep, and enjoy your relationship with your husband or wife. What will you get in return? The type of happiness that everyone wants.

Margaret Hardisty International Best Selling Author and Speaker Dr. Vance Hardisty International Speaker and Author Love Relationship Headquarters www.loverelationshipheadquarters.com

Looking for marriage advice? You are not alone. 100’s of thousands have used our marriage advice. Marriage help is available , and get separate help for men Check here for free reprint licence: Wealth And Marriage – Do They Mix?.

The Good – The Bad – In Men

There was an article I read about a man who asked an adviser, “Why do girls go for the bad guys?” He was a decent man he explained. His way of treating women was respectful, kind and compassionate. Then along comes a charmer who does just the opposite and wins the girl the good guy is hoping to attract.

It may take a different approach and a different set of standards for a man to look at a different type of woman. The standards of most women do not include a rude, ornery vulgar man who treats them like dirt. Only very insecure females who are a bit on the dense side would want that. Or they’ve been watching too many nasty guy movie characters like Hugh Jackman’s in Australia. Even if they find low class guys that exciting before marriage – if they manage to get them to the altar, which is doubtful – they’ll soon regret it. The excitement soon wears off and marriage becomes a nightmare. Furthermore, these kinds of guys usually want to save their marriages only to keep their women under their control.

The majority of women would die for men who don’t leer, pinch and act lecherous toward them. There is a greater chance of having a good husband if you start with a good guy. A good guy like that doesn’t unceremoniously grope for his woman’s breasts or between her legs when he pops through the door. If it is time to have sex, and he treats her with love, compassion and respect, and coax her passion to rise gradually. He leaves the gross stuff to cave men and beer guzzling jerks. The good guy usually is very much into preserving his marriage, too.

And frankly, a woman who has an ounce of sense in her body will shun the jerk and go for the guy with class, even if he isn’t all that good looking. A woman may find that she is being left by the bad boy she thought was so marvelous; or she might unload him but then she finds out he is hard to lose. Save your marriage? We’d say, get hooked up in a good marriage in the first place and you’ll want to save it. Already married to the bad boy? Then don’t wait until you get dumped to find a solution. We’ve got the stuff you need to help make things better.

Margaret Hardisty, International Bestselling Author and Speaker Dr. Vance Hardisty International Speaker and Author Love Relationship Headquarters www.loverelationshipheadquarters.com

Have you ever asked “How can I save my marriage?” You are not alone. 100’s of thousands have used our marriage advice. We’ll show you how to save your marriage , and get separate help for men This article, The Good – The Bad – In Men is available for free reprint.

Why Did She Cheat?

Ethan, a professional man, was angry and calling his wife all sorts of names when he came to us. “She’s having an affair with a guy she met at a roller skating rink. I just found out.” Then he burst into tears. “What can I do? I love her. I want to save my marriage.” He swallowed hard. “I don’t understand. I’ve always been a good husband.”

But he hadn’t been a good husband – not really. At least, not in her opinion. When I had the chance to talk with her she told me, “I put up with him as long as I could. I needed someone who would love me the way I needed.” Although they blamed each other, both were at fault; but in her disillusionment she started looking elsewhere outside her marriage and “fell in love” with the first guy who gave her attention. She initiated an affair with him. That didn’t last, so she was off looking for another guy. Meanwhile their children floundered.

It is interesting that people find excuses aplenty for having an affair. Fortunately, physical adultery still shocks people – and especially if the faithless are famous, like Tiger Woods, or Jesse James, the husband of Sandra Bullock. At this time, it doesn’t look like either one is going to be able to save his marriage. Having sex outside your committed relationship can destroy your family, friends and spouse. Having an affair emotionally or mentally can be adultery as well. People are often caught when they are having virtual sex because the proof is in emails and web browsers. Emotional disloyalty, by choosing someone other than your spouse as your closest confidant and friend, when there are romantic undertones, chips away at married closeness and can escalate into physical betrayal.

When trust is lost, the marriage will follow. It is at that point in time that the one who cheated sometimes realizes just how much he/she has sacrificed, and there is a desire to make things better. Can it be done? Absolutely. Will it be easy? You already know the answer to that. But with the right information, it is a lot easier than most think.

Some of the biggest problems arise when the one who has had the affair is sorry, swears he/she will never do it again and then expects the offended one to forgive and forget and let the marriage go back to the way it was immediately. Forgiveness is only the first part of the process. Time is needed to heal the situation and forgiveness to truly occur. Second, though the one who has cheated often just wants things to go back to normal – they really DON’T want that. That NORMAL was what got them into trouble in the first place.

What they want is a better, stronger, happier marriage. They just don’t know how to get it. The good news is that things can improve. Time after time, we have seen couples who have experienced adultery go through the rebuilding process, follow the steps that they need to follow, and find that they didn’t just save their marriages, they made them much better than before.

Fortunately, it can be done. Time after time, we have seen couples who have experienced adultery go through the rebuilding process, follow the steps that they need to follow, and find that they didn’t just save their marriages, they made them much better than before.

Let us be very clear. We are not advocating adultery in any way shape or form. It causes incredible pain and suffering to everyone involved and makes the process of crafting a better marriage much harder. If you are in a difficult union, it is far easier to start right now, using clearly defined steps, like those we at Love Relationship Headquarters have laid out, to make the marriage you have dynamic and exciting. You can save the marriage you are in now without going through the pain caused by cheating. Find us and all the steps you need, whether you have gone through the frustration of adultery or not at www.loverelationshipheadquarters.com.

Margaret Hardisty International Best Selling Author and Speaker Dr. Vance Hardisty International Speaker and Author Love Relationship Headquarters www.loverelationshipheadquarters.com

Marriages in trouble can find help. You are not alone. 100’s of thousands have used our marriage advice. Saving your marriage is what we do best , and get separate help for women This article, Why Did She Cheat? has free reprint rights.

Jealousy Isn’t Love – Get Rid Of It!

V:3 I’m jealous of my wife. There’s no reason for it. I know I’m going to lose her if I don’t quit.

Jealousy had gotten the best of Olivia. She wasn’t jealous of her husband, Gavin, but she was jealous of any woman who looked at him. Gavin’s comment to us was, “She’s even jealous when I play with the kids. Frankly, I just want to run, but I need to save my marriage for their sake. If I left, she’s do everything she could to keep me from seeing them.”

Olivia refused to go to a counselor or a psychologist, but she liked our books. Her husband Gavin hoped that we could help her make a change Gary was doing the same thing to his wife. Though she’d never been with anyone else, and although she made sure he was with her when she went anywhere and clearly was in love with the man – he was really jealous. It all came to a head when after church they got into a huge argument because she’d talked to a guy in their small group meeting. It didn’t matter that Gary had been there to see exactly what she had done. No, they hadn’t been talking about anything but the preacher’s morning message. Yes, when Gary walked up, she pulled him in close and put her arm around him.

But Gary’s imagination went wild. He started thinking of all sorts of things that his wife could have been talking about to the other guy during the first couple of minutes of conversation. He demanded to know exactly what had been said, why they were talking and what was said about him. His wife patiently answered the first few questions, but as Gary got angrier, she dissolved into tears, wondering what she had done to deserve this attack. She loved her husband but this had gone too far.

Gavin let his imagination get the best of him. He started thinking of all sorts of things that his wife could have been talking about to the other guy during the first couple of minutes of conversation. He demanded to know exactly what had been said, why they were talking and what was said about him. His wife patiently answered the first few questions, but as Gary got angrier, she dissolved into tears, wondering what she had done to deserve this attack. She wanted to save their marriage, but this was so awful, she wasn’t sure any more.

The root of all jealousy is fear. Fear generates insecurity. Insecurity, in turn, results in possessiveness, and the need to control. Possessiveness and the need to control evidence themselves in jealous behavior. Jealousy will choke the life out of any relationship and can drive even the most devoted partner away, because it creates a prison – not just for the person who is jealous but his/her partner as well. Jealousy does not always turn into abuse but if left unchecked it can. In 1984, a movie entitled The Burning Bed starred the late Farrah Fawcett as the battered wife of a jealous, controlling husband and startled the viewing world. In real life, rock legend Tina Turner, who left an abusive marriage, wrote the story of her miseries in I, Tina, from which the movie, What’s Love Got to Do with It? was made in 1993. If you’re a jealous person, and you want your marriage to survive, we’ll say it as bluntly as we know how – you need to do whatever it takes to get rid of the green-eyed giant. Do not let it take control of your marriage.

Although most jealous people don’t become abusers, some do. In 1984, a movie entitled The Burning Bed starred the late Farrah Fawcett as the battered wife of a jealous, controlling husband and startled the viewing world. In real life, rock legend Tina Turner, who left an abusive marriage, wrote the story of her miseries in I, Tina, from which the movie, What’s Love Got to Do with It? was made in 1993.

Jealousy can show up in the lives of people who otherwise seem strong and in control. They seem to have a need to fasten an iron grip on people, jobs, ideas and attitudes and tighten that grip if anything starts to slip. They can crush the life out of the people and projects they are associated with by smothering them. Learning how to react in an acceptable and reasonable way is the key to solving serious jealousy issues.

Even gentle people can be jealous if they are insecure and fearful. Their jealousy evidences itself in dependency. Others soon tire of their clinging and feel suffocated by their possessiveness, so they find excuses not to be around them. Even the other partner needs to have support to make a change. Envy and jealousy can occur in your relationships with everyone. If you haven’t conquered the demon, you may be unkind toward your spouse’s relatives – especially your mother-in-law. You may even be envious of your husband’s or wife’s successes.

Even gentle people can be jealous if they are insecure and fearful. Their jealousy evidences itself in dependency. Others soon tire of their clinging and feel suffocated by their possessiveness, so they find excuses not to be around them. They, too, need lessons on how to save their marriages. You may struggle with distrust and envy of your siblings, your parents attention to others, and your friends. If you haven’t conquered the demon, you may be unkind toward your spouse’s relatives – especially your mother-in-law. You may even be envious of your husband’s or wife’s successes.

You can save your marriage. Go to www.loverelationshipheadquarters.com. Get rid of jealousy. Our marriage saving material is exactly what you need.

Dr. Vance Hardisty International Speaker and Author Margaret Hardisty International Best Selling Author and Speaker Love Relationship Headquarters www.loverelationshipheadquarters.com

All marriages are worth saving, Save your marriage today, and receive separate help for men. Free reprint avaialable from: Jealousy Isn’t Love – Get Rid Of It!.

The Revolving Door Of Divorce – Marriage – Divorce – Marriage – Divorce – Divorce – Divorce

Some people feel that if they never live with someone outside of marriage, it’s okay to divorce if their expectations aren’t met and then get married to someone else. Modern culture has created a throw away attitude to marriage and difficult relationships. If the second marriage is a bummer, then how about a third – and then a fourth and so on?

It’s kind of like looking for the Fountain of Youth to search for lasting happiness in that way. It isn’t going to be there.

How many celebrities can you name who have very famous, very public divorces in their past? – like Elizabeth Taylor, a star of the past who was one of the most beautiful women of her time and played in many notable movies. Did she even try to save any of her marriages, even those through whom she had children? Or, if she tried, did her spouses?

We’ll give her this one: She always married her interests, rather than just living with them. To keep herself true to her standards that also meant stealing husbands from their wives. At least that was true in at least one case when she lured singer Eddie Fisher away from his then wife, Debbie Reynolds. Eddie Fishers children have acknowledged that this ruined their relationship.

These days Elizabeth Taylor keeps her love life private, but may have given up the marrying philosophy. She reportedly has been living with a guy for a long time at the time of this writing but now, supposedly, is thinking she’ll take her 8th leap into matrimony.

Then there is the mixing up of marriage and lovers, all at the same time. Larry King, for instance. Still married to Shawn Southwick in his 8th marriage, senior Larry supposedly has been having an affair with his sister-in-law, Shannon Engemann, for the past five years. Similar stories of the rich and famous abound. It’s got to be the rich and famous part of it where he’s concerned, wouldn’t you think? He certainly isn’t getting the women by his good looks. (The latest is that he and his wife have decided to save their marriage – possibly because of their two small children.)

So…are these glittering, wealthy beyond measure super stars happy? Come on. We know better. Truly happily married couples know that these feelings don’t last. So, why aren’t their riches and beautiful partners enough? Why aren’t they joyful continually having one sexual partner after another? The reason is because the human being was created by God to be monogamous. Having sex with someone outside of marriage will always bring turmoil to the soul. Promiscuous sex messes lives up and statistics prove it.

True happiness will continue to elude a person or a celebrity that engages in these behaviors. If these types of individuals are happy on earth by some quirk, they won’t be happy after they leave this earth. Everyone has to stand and account for their lives before God. Last time we checked, He made the rules. The rule says, keep it inside marriage.

Last time we checked, He made the rules. The rule says, keep it inside marriage. To quote an old saying, hitch your wagon to a star – but not a star like those we’ve just talked about. Spiritually they are blind and their sojourn on earth, as wild and appealing as it may seem for the time, is very short. Instead, determine to make your present marriage superb. We show you how to do just that in our books and material at the Love Relationship Headquarters.

Dr. Vance Hardisty International Speaker and Author Margaret Hardisty International Best Selling Author and Speaker Love Relationship Headquarters www.loverelationshipheadquarters.com

Do you have relationship problems? You are not alone. Saving your marriage is what we do best , and get separate help for women This article, The Revolving Door Of Divorce – Marriage – Divorce – Marriage – Divorce – Divorce – Divorce is available for free reprint.

Should A Marriage Be Saved When A Woman Hates Sex?

Jarod was a client who was done with it and ready to leave his wife. “My wife Christina really does hate sex,” he told us. “At least since our kids were born. Is there any way you can help me so I want to save this marriage instead of hitting the road?”

Christina, at Jarod’s urging, came to see us as well. “I love Jarod but I can’t stand his touching me,” she said. “I know he’s ready to leave, but if it means that I have to put up with his sexual stuff, I don’t care if we save this marriage or not.”

If sex disgusts you – if it’s a bother – or a waste of time – or it hurts – or is repulsive – or makes you feel dirty – or used – or you never experience pleasure from it…you need to realize that your reactions are not normal. There have been many women who lost their marriages because of this issue.

The thing to remember is that people don’t start thinking or acting a certain way for no reason. If you think you’ve gone through all the causes, forward and backward, and have come to the conclusion that sex is still all the things we mentioned above, don’t pass on this yet. There may be one important factor missing that will instantly start the improvement.

So why bother? Because the sexual union between a man and a woman is ordained by God and, if it’s in the right context, is blessed and pleasurable. God designed it to bind a man and woman together physically and unite their souls.

All of these things tell you one thing. Only that sex is important to all of us on a number of levels: emotional, psychological and physical; and is the chemical glue that cements a relationship.

You’re missing out on one of the wonderful experiences of life that no woman should be without, if you reject lovemaking. Making love should be a delight to you, as well as your guy, and though it may surprise you, most men don’t really enjoy sex unless their wives are enjoying it, too. Having an orgasm starts to mean nothing to man who cannot please his partner. It becomes significantly less fun for him too. When we talk with a woman who doesn’t enjoy her sexual relationship with her husband, we uncover a number of reasons. These are three of the most common reasons:

What are we trying to say? Only that sex is important to all of us on a number of levels: emotional, psychological and physical; and is the chemical glue that cements a relationship.

* She had an authority figure who told her, as she was growing up, that men want women for nothing but to satisfy their sexual appetites. There are some bad apples who think this way, but most men do not.

When we talk with a woman who doesn’t enjoy her sexual relationship with her husband, we uncover a number of reasons. Here are three rather common ones: * There was a priest/pastor and/or a parent who told her that, according to the Bible, sex is dirty and shameful, and she should indulge in it only to have a baby. The Bible teaches no such thing. Rather, but rather just the opposite.

Our counseling experience has exposed these reasons and even more. If you treasure your marriage and want to save it, find out why you don’t enjoy sex with your guy and then determine to do everything you can to change the circumstances. We have written a lot about why women (or men) turn off in our books and material at www.loverelationshipheadquarters.com because we know how important it is to a relationship and to the stability of a marriage.

Tell your man today that you need his help because you are determined to conquer this: “I want our marriage to survive, Honey, and I know this is an important part of that.” He’ll be deeply grateful that you love him enough to try, not only to come to the point of desiring him, but because you want to save your marriage.

Tell your man today that you need his help because you are determined to conquer this: “I want our marriage to survive, Honey, and I know this is an important part of that.” He’ll be deeply grateful that you love him enough to try, not only to come to the point of desiring him, but because you want to save your marriage. Your goal will be to like – adore – cherish lovemaking – not dislike or just tolerate it. Otherwise, you may live to see the day when he walks out, never to return. Save your marriage – start on it today.

Margaret Hardisty International Best Selling Author and Speaker Dr. Vance Hardisty International Speaker and Author Love Relationship Headquarters www.loverelationshipheadquarters.com

Do you have relationship problems? You are not alone. Save your marriage today, and get separate help for men This article, Should A Marriage Be Saved When A Woman Hates Sex? is available for free reprint.

Is He Selling Drugs?

I saw my friend Gerry selling drugs recently. I accidentally ran into him downtown. He always had been conversant and he told me everything, “You aren’t going to turn me in, are you?” he asked. Actually, I wasn’t sure of his real name and I didn’t know where he lived, so that would have been difficult. Vance had become acquainted with him several years before, helped him turn his life around, at least temporarily, and brought him to our house. With Vance’s help, he had given up taking or selling drugs.

He’d had a hard life and really bad parents. His mother was a nurse who stole prescription drugs and allowed her children to use them. So his background had included stints in juvenile hall and later, prison. Before we met him, he’d had a baby by one woman he dearly loved, but because he was taking drugs and tended to be homicidal, she left him. He couldn’t save the relationship.

After Vance came into his life and Gerry was turning his life around, he married the next girlfriend but the same thing happened. He wanted to stay together but she was afraid of what could happen. He had married another women when I saw him again and, he told me, since he wanted a lot of money, for prestige as much as anything, he had gone back to selling drugs. The lure of easy money was too strong for him.

Like many people he could not break his bad habits. He had married another women when I saw him again and, he told me, since he wanted a lot of money, for prestige as much as anything, he had gone back to selling drugs.

Taking drugs, whether recreational or prescribed, is just plain foolish. When life becomes puzzling, hard and frustrating, many, unable to endure until they discover an answer, take the easy way out and alter reality with chemicals. Despite the fact that, for a short period of time while they are indulging they can forget their troubles, feel good and “handle it,” (as they all say), when they are clean, they discover that their problems are still there. Remember the commercial about this is your brain on drugs Just imagine how bad your problems become on drugs. Drugs add another dark and…shall we say it?… evil dimension to their lives, their marriages, their perception of things.

It is very difficult to heal a marriage if drugs are involved. In fact, it’s very difficult to deal at all with a person who indulges – because they go off the drugs, get into rehab, come out clean, get a new life – and then, like a dog going back to its own vomit, they do drugs again. When we deal with a troubled marriage or life that is complicated even further that way, we say to ourselves, “Tell me again why we are using our energy and time trying to help these people who won’t help themselves.”

There are some successes, though. Serenita came to a number of Bible studies in our home. She had been unable to save her marriage because of a drug habit and lost custody of her children. When we met her, she had been clean for two years. She had a job in her chosen field, and her right to visit weekly with her three daughters had been restored. She’s active in her church, and has a lot of people praying for her. She’s going to make it. If you are addicted, you can shed the demon and have victory, too.

Your spouse, your children, your extended family, and you have a beautiful life ahead of you once you get rid of this devilish habit once and for all. It has been done by many. You will need help, but the ultimate decision to conquer is yours. Through a system of self discovery you can identify your weaknesses. Then fight them as if you were a soldier going into battle and your life depended upon your using the weapons that are at your disposal against the enemy. Pray. Ask God for help. Then continue to do your part. Victory will be yours.

We have more on addictions as well as saving your marriage in our material and books at Love Relationship Headquarters. Come visit us and see how your life can be changed.

Margaret Hardisty International Best Selling Author and Speaker Dr Vance Hardisty International Speaker and Author Love Relationship Headquarters www.loverelationshipheadquarters.com

Do you have relationship problems? You are not alone. Millions have marriage problems Save your marriage today, and get separate help for women This article, Is He Selling Drugs? has free reprint rights.

The Sting Of An Unfaithful Spouse

Ethan, a professional man, was angry and calling his wife all sorts of names when he came to us. “She’s having an affair with a guy she met at a roller skating rink. I just found out.” He became very tearful. “What can I do? I love her. I want to save my marriage.” He swallowed hard. “I don’t understand. I’ve always been a good husband.”

But he hadn’t been a good husband – not really. At least, not in her opinion. When I had the chance to talk with her she told me, “I put up with him as long as I could. I needed someone who would love me the way I needed.” Although they blamed each other, both were at fault; but in her disillusionment she started looking elsewhere outside her marriage and “fell in love” with the first guy who gave her attention. She initiated an affair with him. That didn’t last, so she was off looking for another guy. Meanwhile their children floundered.

People have more reasons to justify their forays into adultery than a centipede has legs. Fortunately, physical adultery still shocks people – and especially if the faithless are famous, like Tiger Woods, or Jesse James, the husband of Sandra Bullock. At this time, it doesn’t look like either one is going to be able to save his marriage. Having sex outside your committed relationship can destroy your family, friends and spouse.

Mental infidelity and emotional disloyalty are adulterous, too. A person can have sex mentally with someone else and no one is the wiser unless the porn or email correspondence that reveals their indulgence is discovered. Emotional disloyalty, by choosing someone other than your spouse as your closest confidant and friend, when there are romantic undertones, chips away at married closeness and can escalate into physical betrayal.

V:3 When trust is lost, the marriage will follow. It is at that point in time that the one who cheated sometimes realizes just how much he/she has sacrificed, and there is a desire to make things better. Can it be done? Absolutely. Will it be easy? You already know the answer to that. But with the right information, it is a lot easier than most think.

Some of the biggest problems arise when the one who has had the affair is sorry, swears he/she will never do it again and then expects the offended one to forgive and forget and let the marriage go back to the way it was immediately. First of all, even if the other spouse can forgive, to rebuild trust is a process. It takes time and some very specific actions on the part of the offender. Second, though the one who has cheated often just wants things to go back to normal – they really DON’T want that. That NORMAL was what got them into trouble in the first place. What they want is a better, stronger, happier marriage. They just don’t know how to get it.

It is important to be clear. We are not advocating adultery in any way shape or form. It causes incredible pain and suffering to everyone involved and makes the process of crafting a better marriage much harder.

Let us be very clear. We are not advocating adultery in any way shape or form. It causes incredible pain and suffering to everyone involved and makes the process of crafting a better marriage much harder. If you are in a difficult union, it is far easier to start right now, using clearly defined steps, like those we at Love Relationship Headquarters have laid out, to make the marriage you have dynamic and exciting. You can save the marriage you are in now without going through the pain caused by cheating. Find us and all the steps you need, whether you have gone through the frustration of adultery or not at www.loverelationshipheadquarters.com

You ask us, “Can you save my marriage?” We would ask you to look in the mirror and ask, “Can WE save this marriage?” We can help, yes, but the actual process takes two – you and your spouse.

Margaret Hardisty International Best Selling Author and Speaker Dr. Vance Hardisty International Speaker and Author Love Relationship Headquarters www.loverelationshipheadquarters.com

Looking for marriage advice? You are not alone. 100’s of thousands have used our marriage advice. Marriage help is available , and get separate help for men Free reprint avaialable from: The Sting Of An Unfaithful Spouse.

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