Is He Selling Drugs?

I saw my friend Gerry selling drugs recently. I accidentally ran into him downtown. He always had been conversant and he told me everything, “You aren’t going to turn me in, are you?” he asked. Actually, I wasn’t sure of his real name and I didn’t know where he lived, so that would have been difficult. Vance had become acquainted with him several years before, helped him turn his life around, at least temporarily, and brought him to our house. With Vance’s help, he had given up taking or selling drugs.

He’d had a hard life and really bad parents. His mother was a nurse who stole prescription drugs and allowed her children to use them. So his background had included stints in juvenile hall and later, prison. Before we met him, he’d had a baby by one woman he dearly loved, but because he was taking drugs and tended to be homicidal, she left him. He couldn’t save the relationship.

After Vance came into his life and Gerry was turning his life around, he married the next girlfriend but the same thing happened. He wanted to stay together but she was afraid of what could happen. He had married another women when I saw him again and, he told me, since he wanted a lot of money, for prestige as much as anything, he had gone back to selling drugs. The lure of easy money was too strong for him.

Like many people he could not break his bad habits. He had married another women when I saw him again and, he told me, since he wanted a lot of money, for prestige as much as anything, he had gone back to selling drugs.

Taking drugs, whether recreational or prescribed, is just plain foolish. When life becomes puzzling, hard and frustrating, many, unable to endure until they discover an answer, take the easy way out and alter reality with chemicals. Despite the fact that, for a short period of time while they are indulging they can forget their troubles, feel good and “handle it,” (as they all say), when they are clean, they discover that their problems are still there. Remember the commercial about this is your brain on drugs Just imagine how bad your problems become on drugs. Drugs add another dark and…shall we say it?… evil dimension to their lives, their marriages, their perception of things.

It is very difficult to heal a marriage if drugs are involved. In fact, it’s very difficult to deal at all with a person who indulges – because they go off the drugs, get into rehab, come out clean, get a new life – and then, like a dog going back to its own vomit, they do drugs again. When we deal with a troubled marriage or life that is complicated even further that way, we say to ourselves, “Tell me again why we are using our energy and time trying to help these people who won’t help themselves.”

There are some successes, though. Serenita came to a number of Bible studies in our home. She had been unable to save her marriage because of a drug habit and lost custody of her children. When we met her, she had been clean for two years. She had a job in her chosen field, and her right to visit weekly with her three daughters had been restored. She’s active in her church, and has a lot of people praying for her. She’s going to make it. If you are addicted, you can shed the demon and have victory, too.

Your spouse, your children, your extended family, and you have a beautiful life ahead of you once you get rid of this devilish habit once and for all. It has been done by many. You will need help, but the ultimate decision to conquer is yours. Through a system of self discovery you can identify your weaknesses. Then fight them as if you were a soldier going into battle and your life depended upon your using the weapons that are at your disposal against the enemy. Pray. Ask God for help. Then continue to do your part. Victory will be yours.

We have more on addictions as well as saving your marriage in our material and books at Love Relationship Headquarters. Come visit us and see how your life can be changed.

Margaret Hardisty International Best Selling Author and Speaker Dr Vance Hardisty International Speaker and Author Love Relationship Headquarters www.loverelationshipheadquarters.com

Do you have relationship problems? You are not alone. Millions have marriage problems Save your marriage today, and get separate help for women This article, Is He Selling Drugs? has free reprint rights.

The Sting Of An Unfaithful Spouse

Ethan, a professional man, was angry and calling his wife all sorts of names when he came to us. “She’s having an affair with a guy she met at a roller skating rink. I just found out.” He became very tearful. “What can I do? I love her. I want to save my marriage.” He swallowed hard. “I don’t understand. I’ve always been a good husband.”

But he hadn’t been a good husband – not really. At least, not in her opinion. When I had the chance to talk with her she told me, “I put up with him as long as I could. I needed someone who would love me the way I needed.” Although they blamed each other, both were at fault; but in her disillusionment she started looking elsewhere outside her marriage and “fell in love” with the first guy who gave her attention. She initiated an affair with him. That didn’t last, so she was off looking for another guy. Meanwhile their children floundered.

People have more reasons to justify their forays into adultery than a centipede has legs. Fortunately, physical adultery still shocks people – and especially if the faithless are famous, like Tiger Woods, or Jesse James, the husband of Sandra Bullock. At this time, it doesn’t look like either one is going to be able to save his marriage. Having sex outside your committed relationship can destroy your family, friends and spouse.

Mental infidelity and emotional disloyalty are adulterous, too. A person can have sex mentally with someone else and no one is the wiser unless the porn or email correspondence that reveals their indulgence is discovered. Emotional disloyalty, by choosing someone other than your spouse as your closest confidant and friend, when there are romantic undertones, chips away at married closeness and can escalate into physical betrayal.

V:3 When trust is lost, the marriage will follow. It is at that point in time that the one who cheated sometimes realizes just how much he/she has sacrificed, and there is a desire to make things better. Can it be done? Absolutely. Will it be easy? You already know the answer to that. But with the right information, it is a lot easier than most think.

Some of the biggest problems arise when the one who has had the affair is sorry, swears he/she will never do it again and then expects the offended one to forgive and forget and let the marriage go back to the way it was immediately. First of all, even if the other spouse can forgive, to rebuild trust is a process. It takes time and some very specific actions on the part of the offender. Second, though the one who has cheated often just wants things to go back to normal – they really DON’T want that. That NORMAL was what got them into trouble in the first place. What they want is a better, stronger, happier marriage. They just don’t know how to get it.

It is important to be clear. We are not advocating adultery in any way shape or form. It causes incredible pain and suffering to everyone involved and makes the process of crafting a better marriage much harder.

Let us be very clear. We are not advocating adultery in any way shape or form. It causes incredible pain and suffering to everyone involved and makes the process of crafting a better marriage much harder. If you are in a difficult union, it is far easier to start right now, using clearly defined steps, like those we at Love Relationship Headquarters have laid out, to make the marriage you have dynamic and exciting. You can save the marriage you are in now without going through the pain caused by cheating. Find us and all the steps you need, whether you have gone through the frustration of adultery or not at www.loverelationshipheadquarters.com

You ask us, “Can you save my marriage?” We would ask you to look in the mirror and ask, “Can WE save this marriage?” We can help, yes, but the actual process takes two – you and your spouse.

Margaret Hardisty International Best Selling Author and Speaker Dr. Vance Hardisty International Speaker and Author Love Relationship Headquarters www.loverelationshipheadquarters.com

Looking for marriage advice? You are not alone. 100′s of thousands have used our marriage advice. Marriage help is available , and get separate help for men Free reprint avaialable from: The Sting Of An Unfaithful Spouse.

Determined To Succeed

Lance Armstrong won the Tour de France so many times, despite the bitterness of the French press that tried to discredit him time and again, that it astonishes us. Cancer reduced him to the weakest he had ever been, but he rebuilt his body and became the unbelievable champion that he is through sheer will to live.

He proved himself to be a champion racer. He did not quite make it to champion father. With several legitimate and illegitimate children to his credit and discredit, he seems to show no remorse, at least publicly, over his apparent failure as a good husband or father.

Nevertheless, champion though he was on the bicycle, he was a dud when it came to relationships and marriage. With several legitimate and illegitimate children to his credit and discredit, he seems to show no remorse, at least publicly, over his apparent failure as a good husband or father. We say that because if he were a good husband, he would have worked on preserving his marriage, and wouldn’t have a bevy of “relationships” behind him. His legitimate children would still have a full time father, and his other children wouldn’t have to carry the stigma of illegitimacy around with them all of their lives.

Perhaps the fact that he was an illegitimate child, himself, that his birth father left him and his mother, and that his mother had married and divorced three times, had something to do with his attitude toward relationships Or perhaps it was his lack of faith as an agnostic. He is quoted as saying: At the end of the day, if there was indeed some body or presence standing there to judge me, I hoped I would be judged on whether I had lived a true life…

A true life? Excuse us? Yes, he was true to cycling. It does not seem that he was true in any way in his personal life. However, since we don’t know the man personally, it could be that he would have been true had his wives been true. We don’t know who was at fault, but if he is like the majority of men, and especially since he had to be gone much of the time to pursue his career, it is likely that he didn’t meet his wives’ and girlfriends’ emotional needs – essential for women.

Every marriage should have, as its goal, love that reaches the arte level, the Greek word for excellence. “That’s easy,” newlywed say when they still have the stars in their eyes. “We’re doing fine,” says the husband who isn’t meeting his wife’s emotional needs. “I’ve settled for less than what I desire,” says the wife who has given up hope.

That’s what our Love Relationship System is all about – showing couples how to reach that level of arte or close to it. Excellent relationships are the ones that stand the test of time and trails. Be willing to put the same indomitable spirit into making your marriage a victorious journey in life as Lance Armstrong has done to become a worldwide champion.

Be willing to put the same indomitable spirit into making your marriage a victorious journey in life as Lance Armstrong has done to become a worldwide champion; so that, unlike him, you can save your marriage and give your children that wonderful knowledge that they have steady, loving parents who will keep things together. We give you the tools and the keys for doing just that at www.loverelationshipheadquarters.com: separate tools both for men and for women. Come join us now for a sparkling future in your marriage.

Margaret Hardisty International Best Selling Author and Speaker Dr. Vance Hardisty International Speaker and Author Love Relationship Headquarters www.loverelationshipheadquarters.com

Looking for marriage advice? You are not alone. 100′s of thousands have used our marriage advice. We’ll show you how to save your marriage , and get separate help for men Also published at Determined To Succeed.

Healthy Body, Healthy Marriage

Mary had grown up slim. However, her figure tended to move outward a bit when it came to her thighs. Still, she was very attractive and looked good in her clothes. After she’d had three children, though, her body began to move outward all over. She liked the fact that it gave her bigger breasts, but the rest was depressing to her. Actually, she was feeling trapped. Her husband worked 50 hours a week and could not be there for his family.

Her unhappiness began to chip away at their relationship. Although he never mentioned her weight, she felt on the ugly side and took her frustrations out on him. He fought back and when other things began to pound at them, such as huge bills and a job loss, she decided the only way out of the whole mess was to get divorced. She no longer wanted to save the marriage.

Despite her foolish decision, she realized that she couldn’t go it alone . She hadn’t finished her education and at best she could get a low paying job. She was concerned about the welfare of her kids. She’d have to find another man, that was all, and to do so, she needed to lose weight.

Her decisions devastated her husband who didn’t spot the signs soon enough, and once he did, he refused to change anything he was doing to save his marriage. He wanted her to change, not him.

She also found another man and had an affair. The man was a dog, but because she was running from her hurt – and trying to run from herself as well as her husband – she couldn’t see that. The “dog” went his way, in time, and she scouted for another guy, found him – another dog – and in time, he went his way. Meanwhile she filed for divorce, and continued to do what she could to make her figure better. V:3

The question is: Why couldn’t she realize that her overeating and not taking care of her body was part of the whole picture of unhappiness that she was experiencing and that it eventually would result in the loss of her marriage? Why couldn’t her ex-husband see that, as well, and do something about it before it was too late? The weight was a distraction because it was not the root of the problem. V:3

If overweight is a monster gnawing at you, determine to do something about it now so you don’t lose your marriage Yes, it’s a symptom, but getting rid of a symptom can help with getting to the root of the real problems. Problems can cause emotional stress and physical illness and it all can tie in with being overweight. The body is a marvelous machine. Every part of your body is connected to every other part in some way.

Keep in mind, when the ball comes swishing toward your bat, you’re the only one who can be there swinging. Either you practice until you hit it or you drop your bat and trot back to the dugout. You have to do it yourself. This is one thing you must do on your own. We have quite a bit of material on this at Love Relationship Headquarters. And as far as your marriage is concerned, no matter how bad or boring you think it may be, unless it is abusive, it’s worth saving – not only for your sake but for your husband’s and your children’s.

We have quite a bit of material on this at Love Relationship Headquarters. And as far as your marriage is concerned, no matter how bad or boring you think it may be, unless it is abusive, it’s worth saving – not only for your sake but for your husband’s and your children’s. We show you how, not only to save your marriage, but how to make it better and, frankly, exciting. Get started on our materials and books today so your home will be a happy, peaceful one, not one filled with strife and fat bodies.

Dr. Vance Hardisty International Speaker and Author Margaret Hardisty International Best Selling Author and Speaker Love Relationship Headquarters www.loverelationshipheadquarters.com

All marriages are worth saving, Save your marriage today, and get separate help for men. Check here for free reprint licence: Healthy Body, Healthy Marriage.

Save Your Marriage – Five Tips To Save Your Marriage

Live in the same house but feel miles apart? This is more common then you think. As routine sets in and daily life continues to evolve you spend less time with your spouses and more time doing the mundane daily tasks, but it doesn’t have to be. You can stop your divorce.

1. Go out and try something new as a couple. Stop your fighting long enough to agree to try a new hobby or sport. Find some old golf clubs and play a few rounds of golf. Go exploring in the woods on a hike, pull out your bike and find a trail to follow; do anything that you don’t normally do. This will help you find a new and quite possibly exciting side to your lover.

2. Talk about what is wrong. You’ve been upset for over a week because you got your hair cut and he didn’t notice. Unless you made a drastic change, he most likely will not notice it near as quickly as your friends will. Or quite possibly he did notice it and didn’t particularly care for it. He might be keeping quite to spare your feelings but you still got your feelings hurt. Let him know. As nice as it would be, he is not capable of reading your mind. So let him know that you cut your hair and your upset he didn’t notice. Or tell him your mad as the dickens. Just be prepared, if he did notice and doesn’t care for it, your going to be even angrier!

3. Write a letter. It might seem strange to write a letter to someone who is sitting across the breakfast table, but if you are not communicating any other way, it might be a safer option. List all the points that you want to make and then write. Don’t worry about how it is worded, you are not going for Wordsworth, after all. Say what you mean, and mean what you say. And always remember: do not ever put into writing today what you do not want to be reminded of tomorrow.

4. Look for counseling. If you’ve tried everything and nothing seems to work then it might be time to try marriage counseling. The wisdom of someone connect might be the ticket. Think about it, when you complain to your friends they will agree with you and the same goes for your spouse. You need to list your grievances with someone who will not take sides and can see the bigger picture. The counselor can then lead you down the right path.

5. As a last resort consider a trial separation. If all else has failed, agree to spend a weekend apart with no communication of any kind. The time alone will give you time to reflect and renew. Besides, you know the old saying: absence makes the heart grow fonder.

If you are wondering if you can “stop your divorce” the answer is most likely yes, you can. It can take some hard work but if you truly want to save your marriage then it is time to take action in the right direction. Learn how to save your marriage and read a detailed Save My Marriage Today review.

« Previous Page